This is not an outfit or fashion oriented post... so if you only love those - why not look here, otherwise - read on. xxx.
I was at a coffee shop today buying a "UK flat white". This is a regular thing for me, and a regular place I go to... as I was standing, pouring in my TWO sugars - brown and EXTRA yummy - I heard the following exchange:
Josie: Lisa, I'm looking at this cake and I really want it.
Lisa: No, Josie, you don't want to eat that and be the biggest girl there.
Josie: It's just a cake and the party isn't 'till tomorrow night.
Lisa: Well, don't do it - it will make you fatter.
Josie: But it looks really yummy.
Lisa: Well, don't spend all tomorrow night telling me you look fat.
I estimate Lisa was about a size ten, and Josie was a size 12 or a 14 - at most. Initially, I was a little outraged by this conversation. It took me back to highschool where one of my friends gave me a diet book for my 15th birthday... Awesome. I was never a girl at school to ask my friends if I looked fat. I was aware, from a very young age, that I WAS the chubby girl. The fat one. The "bigger friend". That, is one of my facts - always "chubby". I actually used to walk down the street and look at the bigger/curvier/chubbier/fat girls who I thought were fashionable and think, "I want to be like HER one day..." (I have, of course - like almost everyone, struggled with body issues and self acceptance, but that is not for this post... I am very aware that what I have just written is a very lucky thing to have started thinking as a young girl). Although I lifestyle changed about six years ago, I have never dieted. I have thought about it, but never wanted to - so haven't. As I looked at these girls, it got me thinking.
I was so outraged initially at Lisa. I thought she was being quite rude and bitchy - and, really - she was. But then I thought about her last comment... "Well, don't spend all tomorrow night telling me you look fat." And it made me think. Clearly Joise has body issues which she projects and clearly Lisa is not sensitive to how deep such issues can go. I actually had this strange sense as I left the coffee place that maybe Lisa, in her own special, insulting way - was trying to help Josie. PROBABLY - she was just being insensitive... but that last comment has given me pause...
Tonight, I was so happy to finally meet up with the AMAZING Vanessa Reece from VanessaReece.com (she took a pic and has posted details!) and we got chatting about it, all about perceptions and self awareness and feelings.
It was a good discussion (heck I LOVE thoughtful discussion).
BUT - I have not resolved this in my head. I would love opinions. As I said, my initial outraged reaction was that Lisa was being rude, and ultimately - she WAS being quite mean, negative, insulting... but I would love to know people's thoughts on that last line?
I once heard a daughter say, "Shit mum, you look like a fat pig"... and I was equally mortified. Thoughts?
PS - If you want to enter my comp for the GORGEOUS film earrings - you must leave a comment under this post and follow me on either twitter or google connect (full details in the post!).